Jenna Jameson and Tito are preggers, and she’s a WHAT?

Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz are offically pregnant. Yes, it’s true. Jenna told UsWeekly, “Yes, I can confirm I’m pregnant. It’s still early, so I’m being cautious. I’m resting as much as possible. I’m so happy! I’m just saying super healthy. I’ve moved down to the beach with Tito — I love being by the beach.”

Now, first things first, I am shocked this chick can even have a baby. She weighs about 22 lbs,(look at THIS bikini shot, its work safe) and that’s after a good sandwich and before she pukes. Second, I would have thought jarring around all your plumbing with various toys and appendages for years would have an adverse effect on said pipes. Guess I was wrong. Then again, Nicole Richie pulled it off, I shouldn’t be really surprised, right?

Now, my absolute favorite part of the USWeekly article is this:
“But the devout Catholic — who has tried in vitro — told Us, “It was all in God’s plan.”

DEVOUT CATHOLIC!??!?
WHAT!?

Ummmm, last I checked “Professional Baby Batter Canvas” was not an accepted form of employment by the church. Wow. Now I’ve heard it all. I’m sure the kid will get some DOPE name like Apple, Chow, Pi, Spartacus or Bomb. Weird names and celeb pregnancies are blowin’ up these days!

Lastly, not only will this kid probably get some sick name, but he/she is going to have to take a ton of abuse growing up. Here’s the thing, when I was growing up if some kid was like, “Your mom’s a whore!!” I would get mad and try and fight him, or insult him back. If Jennito’s kid is mocked in such a way, all he/she can do is accept it as a truth. His/her mom, by definition, spent much of her life as a whore. That sucks for the kid!! Maybe Tito can teach the kid some ground and pound if it’s a boy and he will be accepted anyway. If it’s a girl though, and I’m Tito, im keepin’ mom and her devout catholic ass (as loose as it may be!) away from her!

Peace.

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One Response to “Jenna Jameson and Tito are preggers, and she’s a WHAT?”

  1. […] Lopez, who is apparently now a born again Christian. Wonder if she goes to the same church as Jenna Jameson. Hobie’s statement about the tape illustrates the crackheadishness that is Jeremy […]

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